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| Black and white so you can tell it's Oldey Timey Times and don't think I've managed to get pregnant again without sex. Even though that's how it happened the first time. |
It was a day of such intense hope and fear and happiness and love. It fucks me up that there are women who have longed for this sight for years and never seen it. It fucks me up that there are women who have seen it, sometimes again and again, and yet don't have a child to wrap their arms around. I'll be thinking of you all today, and especially the women I read who fall into that latter category: CGD, Augusta, Jennifer, Misfit Mrs., May, Egghunt, Andie and Twangy. I would wish you and your partners fortitude, but you obviously already have it. Ditto strength. Um...cake? Wine? Whatever might help today, I wish you that.
A year passes so fast, doesn't it? I still have my HPT on my nightstand table - I glance at it every night before going to bed. Some people might think it's gross hanging on to a urine stick, but I think it's fabulous.
ReplyDeleteLove your words about the women for whom a baby hasn't happened yet. Ditto...
I've kept mine as well...it's been nearly 2 years and I may never let them go. Urine is so precious to me, you know.
ReplyDeleteAnd ditto again on the kind words to the mommies-in-waiting...
I agree, its just not fair sometimes that we all don't get our take home baby. I kept my HPT as well although its ending wasn't as lovely as a b&w photo. I used the ones that said "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and I kept the one that said "pregnant" even after I miscarried, I kept the stick to remember. But then apparently it ran out of batteries. And I didn't know that it could do that. And I took it on a trip with me to pee on for my next cycle and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. Um, yeah, I was testing with a used stick. Classy? You betcha. I have now learned to toss them.
ReplyDeletei wouldn't ever get rid of mine. I'd make a shadow box with corresponding sonogram pics if you have them.
ReplyDeleteAh. Thank you, bunny. Make mine a brandy and ginger, no, no wait - something a bit nicer, now I am not 22. A martini! That's for adults, now.
ReplyDeleteYou could make a piece of art with those sticks, I have often thought. It would be full of yearning.
I kept mine, too. I keep asking myself when I'll finally get rid of them, but I can't do it yet.
ReplyDeleteI still have mine, even the digi ones whose screens no longer reflect the digi result. And I still have my jam-packed sharps container. I did move it from the kitchen counter to my linen closet though. I don't know that I'll ever get rid of them. Even as I have a sweaty, soft 8 month old sleeping on my chest. It's all just too precious, too significant.
ReplyDeleteX to our bloggy peers...
Okay, so now I don't feel weird. Though, the weird thing about me, I guess, is that I hung onto the positives from losses, as well. For a very long time. As if to say: See, it really did happen!
ReplyDeleteI second your wish. It's time, universe. To let the sun shine on all of us.
I've got Smudgie's, along with all 27,000 ultrasounds print outs from this pregnancy, in a ziploc bag on my dresser. I had to put them in a ziploc because of the hurricane--couldn't risk the wind blowing out my windows and destroying the precious pee sticks.
ReplyDeleteI've also still got my positives from the failed pregnancies, but they're in a drawer. It doesn't seem right to get rid of them, since that's all that remains.
Delurking to say how much I love this post. My firt BFP was a digital, and became blank not long after is said "pregnant", but I can never dispose of it. I also have two dollar strore cheapies, that I took the week after the first BFP, and saved those as well.
ReplyDeleteThose little pee sticks represent the best moment of my life!
What a thoughtful call out to everyone still in the fight. I send my best with yours.
ReplyDeleteI threw out Toddlerina's sticks when she turned 2. I figured the pregnancy was a success.
The b+w gave me a belly laugh. Old timey.
Cake. Cake would be good right now. Thank you for thinking of all of us.
ReplyDeleteI am so very happy that you have your wonderful Bun Bun. Her literary abilities are quite astounding, you know. And she is so very lucky to have you as her mama.
PS. I most certainly do not think you should cut our hair. Evah.
thank you for all the love and support.
ReplyDeleteI get why you keep that stuff. It was a hard earned BFP not to mention a memory of a really, really happy day.
Thanks so much for your steadfast support, dear Bunny. It is HUGE, all the love and support you give us. You are a one of the pillars of our community. I am thankful for you each day.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, cake and wine, in no particular order. One day I hope to share a bit of both with you when we meet in person.
I love that you kept the pee sticks for posterity.
I kept them too until the end of last year when I was trying to pretend I was over the whole mess. :) I do wish I still had them sometimes to remind myself I did get positives even if they didn't stick.
ReplyDeleteI would totally put them in the baby book. You worked hard for those! !
I still have mine. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
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