So why did the terrible book actually have some merit? Well, primarily because it made me feel so smug about how awesome Mr. Bunny and I are relative to the couples described in the book. Mr. Bunny is a pretty good model of egalitarian parenting, whereas apparently there are men who pride themselves on never lending a hand. And yeah, I'm a horrible nagging bitch like the women in the book, but at least I periodically apologize for it.
So that was awesome. But there were a few additional things I took from it aside from a sense of superiority.
The book also made me realize that I'm having some knee-jerk reactions that are pathetically typical.
SIGH. For example, when Mr. Bunny says I'd like to watch a soccer match this morning, and I'll take Bun Bun this afternoon, instead of hearing I need time alone, just as you need time alone, so here's how I propose we arrange that, I hear I hate my boring baby and wife and want to chase the doe-eyed gazelle* of sitting on my ass. So yeah, I seem to be just like all the women in the book who are afraid their partners will abandon them with a young child (because, you know, On the Veldt), and see all kinds of things through that filter.
Plus which, I also have a stupid tendency to give him the time alone and then not take MY time alone, or use it to clean or make dinner. BOO. (I know, I said I enjoy cleaning, but not as much as I enjoy sitting on my ass watching trashy TV. I AM an AMERICAN, you know!) Then I get to feel resentful, which is THE BEST.
And I guess even though I've been making a real effort since day one not to undermine my husband's parenting by nit-picking or criticizing (because what the fuck do I know about child-rearing), I think I need to extend that general approach, and stop being so fucking uptight. I genuinely do believe that one of the benefits of having multiple caregivers is having multiple care-giving styles. And while I'm okay about letting Mr. Bunny do whatever the hell he wants in terms of naps and feedings and whatnot when he's in charge, I get all tense when I see him do certain things. Like check his fantasy baseball scores when he's hanging out with Bun Bun. I feel like she deserves his full attention. But the truth is, she doesn't need two parents like me. Nobody does.
Anyways, I hope you appreciate my sharing the wisdom so you don't have to slog through all the offensive shit to get to it on your own. I look forward to you all having perfect relationships thanks to me.
*Thanks for the imagery, Bionic.