BFB came over yesterday. The moment she got in the door, she thrust something at me and was like, Make me some of this. I looked down at the object in my hand. It was a packet of Nursing Tea. To promote lactation.
FUCK YOU, I thought to myself, while dutifully making her tea. It's not like I can ever forget that she is hella fecund, but does she have to rub my nose in it? I wish I could find some I Have a Tenure Track Job and You Don't Despite Years on the Job Market Tea, so I could flounce into her house and tell her to make me some.
Meh. Fertile friend FAIL.
ReplyDeleteWow, can I have some of the "I Have a Tenure Track Job and You Don't Despite Years on the Job Market" tea? Is it made with lots of vodka?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I am sorry she doesn't "get it".
I hope you have a great weekend!
Seriously? I'm surprised that she's so...oblivious to how shitty that is. She just doesn't get it. Perhaps if you run to her house with your fertility meds and order her to shoot you in the ass with them (if that time ever comes)? Perhaps then she'll get it.
ReplyDeleteSorry, bunny.
UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. Did she stop for one second to think that? Sorry, Bunny, that's frustrating. I really like Al's suggestion of asking her to give you a shot in the butt and see how she feels then.
ReplyDeleteSuper shitty. You should have told her to go milk her udders somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteI would have accidentally served her "Smooth Move" laxative tea. Just cuz I'm bitter like that.
ReplyDeletefertile people... what asshats. lol
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHA! I think the Tenure-Track Tea comes with extra bitterness.
ReplyDeleteI think tenure track tea tastes sweeeeet. At least she could have said it was something else. I'd have that shit in some other package myself.
ReplyDeleteI have a new product for you, though. "Infertili-tea." which is a lot like a long island kind, and not the kind with and healthful benefits. Or maybe it comes with amnesiatic side effects. Mmmm.
I am all for Al's suggestion of bringing meds to her house next time you are cycling. I just cannot understand what some people are thinking. Is it possible to that clueless?
ReplyDeleteUm, I'm Katie - Smooth Move would have been the way to go. The NERVE of some people.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say I'm "with" Katie...not I'm Katie. Duh.
ReplyDeletewhy couldn't she have waited until she got home to have her freakin tea??? perhaps you could've said "we have no water today, sorry".
ReplyDeleteOh my, that is beyond insensitive bad BFB bad!!!
ReplyDeleteI, on the other hand, being a super-sensitive friend, would have just handed you a bottle of fancy liquor.
Tenure Track Tea sounds awesome. I also love Misfits idea - I think we have found ourselves a new cocktail, ladies!
Gah, I can't believe she did that. So rude.
ReplyDelete:( bunny. Maybe she should put her baby on her breast to promote nursing, I imagine that probably works better than sipping "I can make babies and you can't" tea.
ReplyDeletexxx
Oh no! Best Friend, come ON. But your Career Tea is funny. I am visualizing a whole line of them.. I Can Sleep As Much As I Like Tea, My Shirt Is Vomit-Free Tea?
ReplyDeleteHey Bunny I just gotta ask? Are you facilitating BFB's behaviour? Are you telling her any of how you really really feel? Or does she think you're fine with everything?
ReplyDeleteIf your answer is "no", the BFB is failing at best friending BIGTIME. If "yes", then stop it grrrl. Tell her. Give her the chance to be sensitive to your feelings.
x
Ugh. I dunno, Bunny. I think I might have dumped it on her head (letting it first come to room temperature, of course).
ReplyDeleteMy guess? Her thinking is that it's only a matter of time before the shoe is on the other food and she's, er, facilitating your own lactation.
You ladies crack me up! I might have dumped the tea on her head too. :)
ReplyDelete