Most of the time my job is pretty mellow. I've got my anxieties, but they are familiar at this point. It's like, Yeah, this knife in my ribs is painful, but I don't really remember a time before it was there... Last week totally sucked, though. It reminded me of life before everything was wonderful and perfect. I even snapped at my husband all weekend, which I don't think has happened since Bun Bun came on the scene.
You see, my department is trying to hire a shiny new professor. And one of the people we're interviewing is my best friend (BFB). So that's odd on a number of levels. They are levels I won't say anything about because while I'm cool with my colleagues finding this weblog and learning that I think they're ASSHOLES or my students finding this weblog and learning that I think they're LAZY and ANNOYING, I do have my moments of being all ethical about confidential shit. Suffice it to say, hiring people generates a whole lotta contention, and none of it is fun to be near. I imagine it's like working for any small unit that's part of a larger unit and is very concerned about its fate, and is full of strong personalities and competing interests, yet must reach some kind of consensus...basically, a bunch of monkeys flinging their shit around and hooting. I'm trying to keep my emotional distance, but people keep dropping by my office to air their feelings, and of course I've got my own complicated opinions about what's best for our little department.
Mainly, it's just WEIRD to be all stressed out again, after five months of not giving a shit about anything except my fetus. I guess I thought I'd achieved a higher state of consciousness, in which I was surrounded by a bubble of motherearthgoddessI'vegotababyinme-ness that petty bullshit couldn't penetrate. But no, I was just lucky. Anyway, I know you are all EXPERTS in managing stress, so lay it on me! How do I shake it off?