When I started writing this internet-based public journal, I assumed the downside would be that no one would ever read my thoughts and I'd feel pathetic in an all new way. But no! I was gathered into the warm embrace of the blogosphere and do indeed feel less alone on my journey. But an unexpected consequence of connecting with virtual people (okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're real people) who virtually share various aspects of my situation is that I've become less tolerant of real world people not understanding these things I think about all the damn time.
Example 1: before yesterday's coffee I stopped by LP1's office and told her I would probably be unable to hang out with her pretty soon, and that she ought not take it personally. I tried to take Jen's advice about precise messaging and not get too complicated about it. She seemed glad I brought it up and was all I totally understand blah blah blah. Then she said, If you ever need someone to go with you to appointments, I'd be happy to. Uh. NOT SO MUCH, PREGNANT LADY. I mean, yes, totally sweet to offer, but did you not just hear me say I don't want to be around you? Can you even fathom what it would be like to go to an appointment about, say, your perpetually empty uterus with a PREGNANT lady? No, of course she can't.
Example 2: At yesterday's coffee I told all the LPs about my laparoscopy and one of them said, Can't they do embryo implantation? I was a bit confused. Like, what, in the middle of examining my ovaries they're going to stick an embryo in there? Where did they get this embryo? And where, exactly, are they going to put it? Down the fallopian tube? And how exactly will they get it to implant? And why haven't they shared this Magic Technology with the whole world? I mean, Laparoscopic Embryo Implantation ought to sell like hotcakes! I was confused because, you see, this LP is a neonatologist. I know neonatology is not reproductive endocrinology, but this person is a fucking DOCTOR! So for a moment I figured I'd just missed something. But no, this was just a typical ignorant query from an unexpected source.
In short, you people have spoiled me for the real world. Thanks a lot.
Haha! I'd say you're welcome but I have not been spoiling you long enough to take the credit.
ReplyDeletePity.
Also, flabber very gasted over the neonatologist's lack of basic understanding. If I can understand that much, surely..? how can she not know..? HUH..? ..?
I so want to sign up the new Laparoscopic Embryo Implantation procedure!! So very exciting...LOL!!!! It's funny I imagine you work with some really intelligent people and this is the shit they respond with!?
ReplyDeleteRIDICULOUS!!
Not everyone can be as awesome as your virtual friends :-).
Hahaha. This cracked me up. People are ridic sometimes. Now that I blog, I do my polite little smile IRL and then pound out their stupidity on my computer for all you bloggies to see. Haha.
ReplyDeleteAh, our diabolical plot to RUIN you is working... *rubs hands together evilly*
ReplyDeleteI've been asked several times, after explaining the ins and outs of IVF in excruciating detail, if I am going to "be like that OctoMom." After I barfed in my mouth a little, I had to follow-up my lecture with a dialogue about medical ethics and how a few doctors and their patients lack them and how MOST women, if they can get pregnant at all, have a reasonable one or two babies after IVF. Oh, the asscow questions and asshat comments that infertility brings. It's like a bucket of salt for your wounds.
WOW... a doctor... okeyyy dokeyyy... scary! But hilarious.
ReplyDeleteMaybe thats why I haven't "come out of the infertility closet" yet in the real world. I can't handle questions, let alone ridiculous one! Crazy! I can just picture what ur face must have looked like when the doc gave u his words of wisdom! LOL
I feel the same way! When my family or friends don't understand what an IUI is and how it's different from IVF...I get frustrated. My bloggity world had spoiled me. I think that having the support of so many of you makes me so much stronger for the road ahead.
ReplyDeleteGahhhh. Oh, we fools who extend the same amount of grace to non-IF people that we automatically afford to our IF blog friends! I don't know why it feels like a suckerpunch when after explaining IVF/ICSI to my friend she asks, "Well, why would you have to take all of those meds if the problem isn't you?"
ReplyDeleteSheesh almighty.
You really do begin to learn just how little biology other people know, including MDs. I sit on a committee for maternal fetal medicine, and the Neos don't know anything about ART. Jack squat.
Anyway, it's been a treat spoiling you.
Oh. My. Gosh. Wow. All you can do is laugh at that ridiculousness. I know how you feel - the women in this community are awesome, but it makes the rest of the world seem totally oblivious!
ReplyDeleteLol niiiiice. Idk how you held it together after that comment. Can't they sprinkle some of your hubbys sperm in there while they're at it...hey you never know!? Lol seriously. My friend has said some pretty crazy (stupid) shit before too when it comes to IF.
ReplyDeleteWhere do they think babies grow? I know the location of all of our internal organs is a bit confusing, but everyone knows the uterus, right? Seriously, the woman is a doctor!
ReplyDeleteLOL to JC's sprinkling some sperm in there :). Haha.
I can't imagine what I'd say to a comment like that. I'd probably just stare at her like she was an idiot until someone changed the subject.
I've run across some ignorant comments about adoption as well, and have corrected a few people about how it is not easy as pie to "just adopt".