I've been struck recently by how quickly time passes in other people's lives. Several people whose blogs I read have taken huge steps forward while I've been waiting and waiting, and it's seemed to come out of nowhere. One moment someone's considering IVF, the next she's in the two week wait after her transfer. Someone doesn't post for what feels like a few days, and suddenly she's about to have her IUI. And I know it happens to you guys, too. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday I was soliciting your advice about this surgery? BAM! It's in three days!
This experience reminds me of the work Oliver Sacks and others have done on our perception of time. It's a fascinating universe of research. For example, in a New Yorker article, Sacks describes a person pouring a cup of tea. Time slowed down so much for her that she kept pouring and pouring, unaware that the cup had overflowed. This nice article summarizes some of the extra neat stuff.
I wonder if, in a dystopian future, the phenomenological experience of waiting for things will be medicated out of existence. That is, we'll still wait, but we won't feel it. Like, I'm imagining meeting with my RE after my recovery, and him saying, Everything looks good, so you're cleared to try again. Don't forget to take your prenatal. Oh, and here's a prescription for meth. Take this once a day and it will help the time pass more quickly. Meth is bad for baby, you say? Whatevs! It will be worth it, I promise. Plus, it will give you extra nice teeth and skin!
Of course...in this dystopia, people like me won't even be allowed to reproduce, but will be forced to live underground like moles. OH WELL.
I wish that time would fly by. It seems like it drags to all of us. I read the blogs of women that I cycled with one year ago and they are writing about staying up with newborns and breast feeding. It seems like just yesterday I was commenting on the ER or transfers. Only the good things go to fast in my experience. The shit - lasts forever.
ReplyDeleteE and I know people who have met, gotten engaged, had 2 kids, bought and sold houses, and done entire kitchen remodels in the amount of time it took us to... do nothing! Basically this has all happened in other people's lives since we brought up the idea of potentially having kids a few years ago... but what has actually happened in that time? I wrote a couple of papers. Huh.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally living in the slow lane. 5 1/2 years in college. 6 1/2 years in grad school (graduated at 31). Engaged for 3 years. Didn't hit puberty until I was 14. My middle name should be MOLASSES.
Also, I lived next door to a meth addict once-- he worked on his truck all night every night for the entire year that we lived in that apartment, and he NEVER managed to get that thing running. All it would do was rev, for about 20 minutes every morning, with blue clouds of smoke rolling by the window, but i kid you not, it NEVER ran. You don't want an analogous result, I promise! Living underground sounds ok, though, as long as there are no pregnant people down there.
I hope things move on for you soon-- I'm just hoping that all this stagnation in MY life will at least keep me looking young.... wishful thinking!
i hear you. part of the reason i'm getting antsy and thinking about the clomid, is hearing about everyone else moving forward and being proactive. my life is moving at a snails pace of late. during ivf, i was emailing with bunch of girls from babycenter who were on the same time frame as me. 8 of us. only 2 bfp's. of the remaining 6, 4 just got their bfp's, which just leaves 2 of us. i dunno where the other girl went, but i am being LEFT BEHIND!!
ReplyDeletehow long is the actual surgery, and esp, how long is recovery?? just think, you'll be *fertile* after surgery, yes?
if you find the remote, please press *fast fwd* for both of us :o)
There should be a bottomless supply of soma for us all...
ReplyDeleteTime moves so slowly, like molasses in December, until one day you look back and think, "where the hell did the time go?" Trust me, nothing changes this phenomenon, no matter how far you manage to get away from IF. I am starting to think there's a special space-time wrinkle where IF lives, and we get stuck in it. But at least we're in good company, ladies.
I second JB's sentiment, at least we are in good company.
ReplyDeleteI just started blogging a mere 5 months ago & many bloggers have experienced BIG changes.
Your time will come. I will be thinking of you and your surgery. I hope it goes smoothly and that you are back on the TTC wagon as quickly as possible.
Thank you for the informative and encouraging article!
Sacks is pretty fascinating. And this whole business is a bit like becoming "unstuck in time" while being at every moment fixated on time. And you're so right about time moving so swiftly for others, while I stay in one place. I think with IF, too, there's frequently an added dimension: the slipping backwards in time. Feeling like you're worse off than you were before. I'll stop here because it's depressing me.
ReplyDeleteBut time is going to speed up for you in 3 short days. Wow. That's soon (see? I am doing it, just as predicted). When does the consumption of lemon-flavored loveliness begin? I'm guessing they will put you out? I hope you get lots of lovely, floaty painkillers. And then when you wake up, the real countdown begins.
YUP, those are *THE* crows featured in your video. Aren't they adorable???? If I get the job (well, why not?), I'll send you some exclusive footage :).
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I patted myself on the back big-time for just getting the 'encourage'ment.
The idea of a toddler with a british accent just about breaks my heart! Now I want it ALL more than ever!!!
3 days?? Holy crap. Time moves REALLY fast in your world (at least it seems to from over here). Good good good good luck.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same yet a lot of the time I get stuck where I have always been. Good luck with your surgery!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes, yes. This is exactly how I feel. Stagnant. Frozen. Stuck. Watching IFers zoom by. It. SUCKS. Can I just tell you, it is oddly soothing to have another bench'er with me (not that I wanted you to endure the slooooow months of waiting for surgery, just, y'know).
ReplyDeleteI actually printed out these articles to read while I was waiting for my RE to come into the consult room this afternoon. Thanks, Bunny!
Even though I was only on a break for 2 months, I can relate to your feelings. I can imagine the anticipation/apprehension about your upcoming surgery, but really hoping that it is the magic trick that will allow you to get knocked up on your own before you start IVF.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the articles. Your posts are always so darn interesting and academic. You make me feel like a slouch :)
I hear you, I totally understand. I can't begin to count how many times I have been the Last Woman Standing.
ReplyDeleteI am now facing a two month wait for my surgery and it feels like forever.
Wishing you the best for your surgery on Friday.
I think you have the makings of a good short story there with your dystopian view. I always say "better living through chemistry" after all. Make sure you make our mole holes the envy of the above ground freaks, I could settle for second class if we were just living interesting (albeit child-free) underground lives.
ReplyDelete"Times fun when you are having flies." -Kermit the Frog
I don't know if it's my advanced age, or what, but I feel time is flying by. It's like having a rug whipped out from under your feet. Ah, what? Another week gone by?
ReplyDeleteNothing lasts very long, including my states of mind. Which is not bad, exactly.
Lots of good surgery wishes for Friday.
You'll be back overlocking before you know it!
Glue Girl
Three days? How did that happen? (Oh wait, that was yesterday. It's two now.) Wow, it's really getting close for you. Are you excited? Scared?
ReplyDeleteTime is at once slow and fast...Einstein's Dreams should have had a chapter on infertility. It took me 4 months to realize I needed a new doctor, and now that I've actually made the appointment I have to wait 6 weeks to see him. It's dragging by, but at the same time I feel like I am just inches from menopause because my 30s are rushing past at breakneck speed.
I'm pretty sure I qualify as one of those IF fast-laners.
ReplyDeleteJust to share from the other side, the view from here is pretty blurry, and it's easy to get whiplash. It's so weird but just the fact that my cycles have shortened from an average 35 days to 28 days on Clomid, makes each cycle whoosh by.
I know I'm lucky to have an RE who is so proactive and aggressive, but it is breathtakingly fast. I totally agree with the poster above in that I can't believe how quickly my 30's are passing. It feels like it's been forever since we started TTC, and yet that time has gone by in an eyeblink.
My name is Caroline Ahmed from New York,After 6 years of marriage with no child i finally I got pregnant Glory to God almighty my Dear sister am writing to you to share with you what the Mallam Abudu Has done, I said to myself that I will testify when the Mallam Abudu does this with herbal medicine ,I emailed you for a request of your pregnancy medicine last year after seeing the testimonies of other ladies on a website online I decided to put my faith and come in agreement with you.Your pregnancy medicine and You prayed for me we agreed for me to conceive, Hallelujah!! Yes I did conceive two months after and I am now 4 months pregnant Glory to the Almighty God. I know I will have a smooth and easy delivery soon.contact him. mallamabuduspiritualhome@gmail.com or call +2349055637784
ReplyDelete