Monday, October 4, 2010

Oh order list, thou art a mirror of my soul

I buy all my drugstore-type-products online, partly so I can purchase embarrassing things without human contact, and partly because we're a one-car family, so it's often not convenient for me run out and get something. An interesting consequence is that I have a record of all my IF purchases. To wit:

The last order for birth control pills.
The fertility monitor.
The sad series of test sticks for the fertility monitor.
My first box of pregnancy tests.
A pathetic string of orders for fertility monitor test sticks and pregnancy tests.
Just pregnancy tests. No need for the test sticks once we started ART.
Magnesium citrate for the BOWEL PREP prior to my laparoscopy.
More pregnancy tests.
Vitamin E oil for my myomectomy scar.
The fateful box of pregnancy tests that contained one lucky test destined to be my first real positive.
Morning sickness drops.

I wonder what will come next? Will I get to order a series of alarming products from the heretofore detested "baby and mom" section? Or will my next order come from the "my baby turned out to be dead at my nine week ultrasound" section? I haven't thrown up since I wrote that complainy post, so I'm not at all sure it won't be the latter. I hope they sell liquor in the dead baby section.


  1. oh bunny... i know how hard it is to wait but chances are you're baby is alive and well! i'm banking on your next order being for zofran or something like that because now that you've told the blogsphere that you haven't puked in a while, you'll start vomitting daily!

    my symptoms come and go to and its alarming, but totally normal. i emailed my naturopath in a complete panic because my boobs weren't soar anymore! she laughed at me... and they started hurting again in a few days.

    i can't wait to hear all about your ultrasound!

  2. Oh, yes, I totally understand your fears b/c I'm personally in a dark, doubtful place myself right now. I think the anxiety REALLY builds as an appointment approaches. For a while you can ride the high of the last great appt, then you go into a fuzzy fearful-but-not-110%-obsessed place, then the appt gets closer and closer and you think, "omg, it's totally over, how could I ever get good news AGAI? how could this be real? how could the baby be okay?" Right? UGHHH, the anxiety at red alert level = complete and utter suckage! It is freaking HARD!

    But as an observer of YOUR situation, I feel completely confident Bun Bun is alive and well and you're going to have an awesome 9 week u/s. As people keep writing on your blog, the odds are most definitely in your favor!

    Deep breaths. Zen zen zen zen. xo

  3. one more day till your ultrasound bunny!! hang in there. this wait inbetween appts is seriously torture. my appt isn't until 4:15 today, so i'm just staring at the clock, *willing* the time to pass quickly. so far, not working. haha, hubby asked me why i haven't placed a order lately. umm, it's bc i don't want him to see the receipts bc i've been buying boxes and boxes of HPT's. i just need the reassurance that i'm still "the P word" (can't bring myself to say it yet). i'd be bankrupt if i were taking them every day, so every other day has been enough. for now. so basically i've been buying whatever we need at the store instead. this way, he can't track what i'm doing!!

  4. saw your comment. i'm guessing some others are wondering the same thing, based on the number of hits i've gotten today so far. i guess i should let ppl know, but i'm too nervous to do anything right now except stare at the time!! xoxo!

  5. The day or two before an ultrasound is definitely the worst - all the scenarios play out a million times. I'm sure everything is just fine and bun-bun will be waving hello to you!

  6. Oh I so get it. The day before the appointment is an exercise in sheer torture, and can only be soothed by (a) large numbers of chocolate chip cookies (b) sleeping for the entire day (c) 2 or 3 really crappy movies watched in succession, perhaps while also eating cookies and followed by a nap. Or just a crapload of work to keep you busy.

    And the puking comes a goes. My pattern: 2x on one day at 7 weeks, 12 weeks, and 18 weeks. So don't worry about it. My guess on your next order? More pregnancy nausea drops. Tums. Colace. Vactiv (chewy chocolate calcium supplements.) Oh, and pantiliners to deal with the "increased vaginal discharge" that comes with second trimester.

    I love Because I'd always get funny looks when I picked up prenatal vitamins AND bcps. Stupid cashiers.

  7. I'm guessing it's going to continue like this:

    Cocoa Butter for stretch marks
    Prentatal vitamins
    Squeezy-thing to suck disgusting juices from baby's orifices
    Diaper rash balm
    Teething cream


    I am sure whiskey (or gin) will feature in there somewhere, but there will BE NO dead baby section!!!!

    But I remember-- I was contemplating asking for a prescription for cocaine (to temper the grief) when I was awaiting my 9 week scan!

    Can't wait to hear your HAPPY update.

  8. One more day!!! Hang in there - I'm sure it will be just fine. Hugs!!!

  9. The dead baby section is, like, tissues and cyanide pills, and I don't think they sell the latter at You'll definitely need the former, though, for when you cry great big tears of joy and relief that Bun Bun is safe and sound.

  10. Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you are going through this, it drives you crazy till you get the ultrasound, just one more day to go. It's going to be OK because Bun-Bun is going to be right as rain. I can't tell you the craziness stops (at least not so far for me) I work at an hospital and actually tracked down a dopler machine which I then disapeared in to the bathroom with just so I could hear it's heartbeat. oh well....

  11. I feel like would do a wondrous lot of business if they had a distract-me-from-anxiety-about-my-upcoming-appointment section. Now *there's* a cash cow if ever I heard of one.

  12. You need to visit the chill pill section for the pregnant women who don't want to harm their babes. Take 10. At least.

    Tomorrow morning is the u/s, correct? We'll be waiting for a story of a little swimming peanut, and completely awed parents. I can hardly wait. Hope you sleep well.


  13. First of all, there is no dead baby section and second of all, your Bun Bun resents the mere thought. I am 100% sure that Bun Bun is doing extremely well and that you're going to be writing a happy, cheerful, not-at-all-glum post tomorrow. Can't wait!

  14. Fingers crossed and firmly held for you tomorrow. My thoughts are with you guys this evening.

  15. I'm hoping for the previously detested section.

  16. I am thinking the best of all possible thoughts for your ultrasound, Bunny. The morning sickness really does wax and wane and so I'm hoping that you've just been hormonally lucky lately.

    The list made me laugh. Oh, the things we do - and buy - on this crazy road. One day, ages and ages hence, internet archeologists may be scratching their heads and puzzling over such things (though, I sincerely hope not...I'd be blushing from the great beyond).

    My vote is for the "Baby and Mom" section, a wondrous corner of drugstore's website that exists like a distant El Dorado, but which conventional wisdom says DOES in fact exist:)

  17. You should probably go on facebook or something instead and preoccupy yourself with some ridiculous game. Or get a gameboy. Do they still make those? Or get a crossword book. I KNOW they still make those...

    I am sure you will be checking out that baby section soon enough and that all will be well at your upcoming appointment!!!

  18. My email archive has a similar story to tell...way too many online receipts for ovulation/pregnancy tests, makin' babies while all dried up from clomid lube, and the like.

    I can't wait for your u/s and the subsequent "the baby is still awesome" update.

  19. Dude, you are a bold mother fucker with those jokes. They scare the shit out of me just reading them.