Friday, February 26, 2010

Ass shots and hypothetical scarves

The ass shot (my Lupron, that is, not some terrible frat party drinking activity) was no big deal. Nurse Incompetent's bedside manner was unhelpful (Are you SCARED? It's a BIG SHOT, so get ready! You should LOOK THE OTHER WAY!), but I felt nothing at all. Not that I am eager to sign up for doing it daily, but the once-a-month-administered-by-someone-else version turns out not to be scary at all. I have also succeeded in scheduling my surgery, and, as you all knew I would, I feel a little better about the waiting now. And I hope to see all of you become pregnant (or more pregnant, depending on your status!) while I sit here. With nothing to do. Perhaps I will take up knitting.

In fact, if I knew how to knit, I would start kitting a scarf. I would knit a little every day. If I happened to feel hopeful, I'd knit in, I don't know, a nice springy green. And when feeling despair, I'd knit in a gloomy grey-blue or something. And when I got pregnant, I would stop knitting. And when my child was old enough to appreciate the gesture, I'd present my forty-mile-long scarf to him or her, and say, This is how badly you were wanted. This is how much we loved you, ever so long before you were born.

And he or she would say, MOM! You're sooooo embarrassing!

Finally, I was hanging with PBF last night and she mentioned that they'd gone to great lengths trying to work a version of my name into their (still unborn) daughter's middle name. They ultimately failed, 'cause my name is unusual. But I was nonetheless deeply touched. I hope I get to be an important person in her life, even if we don't share a name. And most of all, of course, I hope I can provide her with some friends who are not too much older than she is.


  1. I would love to see this scarf of many colors. Why not give it a try? I have put off knitting for my "children" for a year, which means I put off knitting at all, because I don't want to knit for other people's kids anymore.

    But by now, I get it, I'm on the slow road to babies, waiting sucks, and knitting won't make it worse. So I might start again.

    Glad the ass shot wasn't so bad.

  2. That is so sweet about PBF wanting to name their child after you. I would be soooo touched!
    Glad the shot wasn't bad...I thought nurses were supposed to be comforting, not panic-inducing??

  3. I'm glad the lupron is a once a month affair (though Nurse Incompetent sounds utterly charmless) and especially glad that you were able to schedule the surgery. I like the scarf idea (or, I would if I didn't have ten left thumbs for fingers). I've often wondered, if we're successful at this (a big if) what would we tell the kid? "Um, yeah, it was kind of hard..." Or would we not want (this hypothetical) kid to know? Ever? Not sure.

    That's sweet of your friend. And I raise my hopeful glass to Year-of-the-Bunny playmates.

  4. I actually think that scarf idea is kind of awesome. But whether you pursue the scarf idea or not, I think learning to knit is a great idea! Although I haven't knitted in years, I keep thinking I might start again as I find it very relaxing!

  5. Your nurse sounds like a peach. Had it been me, as soon as I had dropped trou and just before the shot, I would have started warning her, "I've gotta pass gas; it's gonna be bad, it's gonna be BIG. GET READY. You'd better LOOK THE OTHER WAY."

    But that's just me.

  6. Wow, cool nurse. Anyway, good for you being able to hang out with the PBF while on the Lupron. I admire that. She sounds pretty cool. You could knit something pretty I am sure of it. Maybe you could knit a sweater for your nurse.

  7. I love your scarf. How did you get to be so smart and insightful?

  8. Your scarf sounds very Dr. Who! I admire your strength at the hands of nurse incompetent, as I am one big fat needle chicken. You have a very lovely PBF and that's the sweetest thing I've heard in a long while. I'm glad the shot was less painful than expected and hope you get someone else for your next one.

  9. Awe that is so sweet about your PBF. I'm sure you'll be a big part in the little girl's life. And I hope you have one brewing here shortly.
    That scarf idea is pretty awesome. I think you should do it! =)

  10. JB, you're brilliant! I'm glad the shot wasn't too bad and that your spirits are up.

  11. I agree that one day I want to be able to present my child with some scrap of evidence of how badly he/she was wanted. This blog perhaps. If it isn't too embarrassing for everyone concerned!

    Good luck on the scary shots and surgery!

  12. How did I miss this?
    I love the scarf idea. It's poetic, and after all, it is a parent's duty to embarrass the offspring. It's character-building.

    Good news on surgery date, too. Helpful to have a plan, it is.