Barring flight cancellations due to snowstorms, I'm off to New York City (said in the voice of the salsa ad some of you are probably too young to recall) tomorrow afternoon. Except I'm actually off to New Jersey first, to stay a night with my husband's best friend and his wife and their young kids. These people scare the shit out of me. First, there's their million dollar house. He works in some consulting firm thingy in Manhattan and makes MAD bucks, so dropping a mil is no big deal. They're probably a little ashamed of their cheap house, and tell their friends it cost two million. Then there's the the fact that they are both super attractive, super fashionable, and kind of weirdly aggressive. Must be a New Yorker thing. And then there's the kids. The last time I saw them was the summer we started trying, and their daughter was maybe 10 months old. She was the first baby I'd seen my husband hold, and I remember thinking how good it looked on him and how it wouldn't be long before we'd have our own. Now they've got another one.
UGG! I'm not in the mood! I've spent very little time with these people, so it's not like we have any kind of rapport. It's just going to be 15 or so hours of feeling inadequate on every damn front. I'm short! I'm plain! I'm barren! I'm depressed!
And FUCK, I just realized I have to figure out what to do about the no drinking thing! I know lots of you face this on a regular basis, but since we rarely see other people, I've been largely spared that experience. Maybe I'll pretend to be on cold meds? I have NO IDEA.
On the less self-pitying front, I am definitely looking forward to the New York City part. The band we're seeing is called The Ma.gne.tic F.ield.s, and they're the band my husband and I fell in love to. We've seen them several times and they put on a fantastic show. I'll get my husband to take a picture of the City Bunny outfit ya'll helped me put together so you can admire your handiwork. Finch, I'll be thinking of you and hoping, hoping, hoping!
You could tell them you have a UTI and are on meds and are on strict no alcohol orders. That will shut em up :-).
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the baby overload - you will survive it. It won't be fun, it won't be pleasant....but at least you have NYC to look forward to! Have a fantastic time and can't wait to see a pic of your city bunny outfit.
I'd be whiney whine whining too. As if kiddies aren't enough...it's the fashionable, attractive and weirdly aggressive part that makes me feel for you particularly:) Two tricks: first, the ol' I'm on antibiotics and can't drink thing (I like Al's suggestion of a UTI...that's a nice touch). Second, make sure you're sitting beside your husband and let them pour you a drink. Keep the glasses very close together, sort of parallel. Pretend to sip from yours. Then, let your husband drain both. It sounds crazy but it works (as long as people aren't watching too closely). Most importantly, though: have a good time!
ReplyDeleteSay you're on antibiotics. It works like a charm.
ReplyDeletePersonally I'm not a fan of the "pretend to drink" method. But that's me. I guess it's b/c I very recently watched my friend S do that when she and her hubs visited us right after Christmas. Of course me suffering from IF I was hyper-aware of the fact that she was faux drinking...it just really annoyed me. But she also had a 15-month old cutie pie tugging at her leg and I was hanging by a thread as it was... :)
Have an awesome awesome time in NYC!!! So fun!
I hope that you have a good trip and that you manage to have a good time. I am wondering if your flight will be cancelled because of the snowstorm in the area.
ReplyDeleteWooohooo! The Magnetic Fields!!! What a fucking AWESOME Valentine's Day treat! :) I'm so excited for you! If this snowstorm blows anything for you, I WILL OFFICIALLY BE OVER THIS SHIT. Blurgh.
ReplyDeleteI usually go with "I'm on this weird prescription right now" line, but half of the time my not drinking isn't even noticed.
HAVE FUN! :)
Hey, I remember that salsa ad (New York City!). I would go with the "I'm on a bunch of cold meds/antibiotics" route so you don't have to stress over faking it. Enjoy the concert....!!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there with the uber-rich good looking people. I agree with the others and say you're on antibiotics.
ReplyDeleteHave an awesome time in NYC. Sounds like a blast!!
Snooping around a million dollar home sounds kinda fun to me! I bet they have all sorts of weird, kinky rich people stuff hidden away in the medicine cabinets. Please investigate and report back.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are really good at tag-team fake drinking. We'll each drink identical glasses of red wine, say, I'll cradle mine and take tiny, indulgent sips every so often, while he gulps his back. We both put them down on the table and then next time I go for a fake sip I'll pull the old switcharoo and take his glass instead. Very clever, no? He gets nicely sloshed, giving me an excuse not to drink too much more since I'll clearly have to drive.
Have a fabulous weekend! I will imagine funny and encouraging glum bunny comments till you're back.
Have a great time in NYC!!! So exciting! You will survive the 1 night w/ you're hubby's bff...you can do it!!! I agree with the antibiotics thing. No one can argue with that and it's easier then "faking it". Have fun =)!
ReplyDeletePretend you're an anthropologist doing research on an exotic tribe.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the M.... F....s!
Good luck with your flight tomorrow! I hope the weather cooperates!
ReplyDeleteGeez, those people sounds...interesting. I don't like high pressure situations like staying with people I'm not really close to. It doesn't sound fun at all :(.
As far as the drinking goes, I never fake drink, and I don't ever offer any excuse. I just say I don't feel like drinking. No one has ever pressured me about it, but I've told a couple people that I just can't drink like I used to or that I'm just not in the mood for alcohol, or that I'm driving or something to that effect. You could also say that last weekend you overindulged and you can't even look at a glass of wine.
I've never gotten the *wink wink *nudge nudge "are you pregnant" nonsense...but I wouldn't count on a couple with young kids that have you in their home to hold their tongues on that subject.
Good luck!
Have fun in good ole New York. Ah, NYC, nostalgic sigh.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't let those upstarts with their hajillions get you down. Bah!
When they offer you a drink, just sniff and say: Oh I couldn't possibly! I'm afraid the workers have been exploited in the production of this [liquid gold or whatever it is].
That should shut em up.