Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Do my eyes deceive me?

At three this morning, I awoke from a happy sleep with a full bladder and a sense of dread. I couldn't decide whether to end the dream or just take a damn piss. I decided to end the dream. But the dream may not be over. There's a faint, faint hope.


RIGHT? I'm not just hallucinating because of the early hour? Mr. Bunny is out of town, so I have no one to ask.

I've been here before and yet never been here before. I've seen this incredibly faint line before, but only three days after my period was due. Then, the ghost of a line told me it was over. Now, it's 12 days past IUI and I don't know what this line is telling me. Despite the helpful key on the test. I know, I have a PhD, I should be able to grasp this. But there should be a middle circle with a faint line, reading HA HA! Maybe yes and maybe no! Have fun with that! And good luck getting back to sleep, mothafuckah!

I should just keep this to myself, particularly when I know a) how much seeing this sight can be a punch in the gut in our world (I'm so sorry) and b) how quickly this phantom can vanish. But I can't untake the test, and I'll need you if tomorrow's test shows nothing at all.

48 comments:

  1. No, why keep it to yourself? This is making my day! WOW. It's really there, you know.

    THERE'S A LINE THERE, BUNNY! ARE YOU RECEIVING ME?
    This is so exciting! Okay, calmness, calmness.
    Breathing, breathing - proceeding with cautious optimism...

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  2. There is DEFINITELY a line there. Don't keep it to yourself!!!

    I'm holding my breath.

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  3. HOLY FUCK. I have goosebumps, Bunny! I have been awake since 4am, and now there is definitely NO WAY that I will be able to drift back to sleep before my alarm starts wailing. (This is me whispering a squeal of nervous excitement: squuuueeeeeee!)I'm with Twangy--deep breaths, cautious optimism.

    Tomorrow's test? You're going to wait a whole 24 hours before taking another? I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER 24 HOURS, BUNNY. ;) I need you to go out, buy three different types of tests and piss all over them. Right now. (No, seriously, if you want to wait, please do...just know that I'm on the edge of my joyful seat hoping and praying for you, girl.)

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  4. OMG!! There is totally a line there. Your eyes are definitely not deceiving you!! I am with Trinity, there is no way I'd be able to wait 24 hours!!!

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  5. BUNNY!!!!! I've seen a line like that before, and the instruction manual clearly said that any second line is a line and it doesn't matter how light or dark it is! Please listen to Trinity and pee on lots more sticks STAT. Or be reasonable and wait 24 hours, but HOLY CRAP, Bunny!

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  6. BUNNY!!!! Totally a line. Now you just gotta talk to it reeeal quiet-like, so you don't scare it away, and coax it out of its shell. Wheeeeee!!! I'm so thrilled for you. And hey, you're 12dpiui today? I'm 12dpo. I've never done IUI, so you'll have to educate me: are those two sort of equivalent? See, now I'm glad FF changed my dates around, because now I'm on Team Bunny! Wishinghopingpraying for only wonderful things for you, Mr. B, and that timid little line.

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  7. OMG, it hadn't occurred to me I could take another one right NOW! I did. Same result!

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  8. WOW!!!! WOW!!!! WOW!!! Congrats Bunny. I totally see it too!! YAY!!! So happy for you guys. When can you go in for your beta?

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  9. bunny!!!!!!!! you have a baby bunny in there!!!! holding my breath for you that this is what we think it is :o) big big big hugs! xoxoxoxo.

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  10. AHHHHHHH! Yes yes yes, that is a line!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!!! xox

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  11. That is definately a second line!!! test again! call your RE and demand a blood test, call you OBGYN and demand a blood test hell call your primary care doctor and play dumb--ask for a blood test (can ya tell I've been there before?) Oh I'm so pulling for this!

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  12. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!

    is this a LINE that i see before me?

    HOLY UNDERWEAR, BATMAN, IT IS!!!!!!!!!

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  13. My computer sits on my desk, which sits right in front of the window of my second floor home office. The morning light is coming in, and despite all this light, making it difficult to see the screen contrast very clearly, I SEE A LINE!!!!

    Girl, after all that naysaying about IUIs, I think ye old Universe may have wanted to teach you a lesson. A sweet, tiny, wonderful, lesson!

    Ok, ok, I know we need to help you remain calm. So I'm calm. And breathing. Are you? I hope so.

    Can't wait to hear about more sticks you've peed on, Bunny. Keep us up to date, dear woman.

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  14. Definitely absolutely without a doubt that is a second line!! BUNNY!!!!! I so hope this is it for you! Fingers crossed SO hard!

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  15. That's a line, bunny! THAT'S A LINE!!!!!! You are, my dear, knocked up, I do believe. Goodbye meatballs, hello baby bunny!!

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  16. OH MY GOD!!!!! THAT IS TOTALLY A LINE!!!!! YOU ARE PREGNANT!!! I am SO excited!!!!! YES YES YES!

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  17. so exciting! When I saw the title of your post, I got so excited for you.

    Fingers crossed for you this morning.

    xo

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  18. ohmylawohmylawohmylaw.

    This is it. This is how it all starts. Holy shit - this is it!

    Dear Bunny this is magnificent news.

    Betas - here we come. Heartbeat - check. Uneventful pregnancy where we make fun of how sick you feel - you bet.

    Easy (but challenging enough for good stories to freak us out) delivery - got it!

    ...followed by busy crib and bliss.

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  19. Yes - yes - yes there's a line there!!! Oh, so very excited... Wow, just awesome!

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  20. Oh Bunny...I see the line. I SEE THE LINE! There is definitely a line there, HOLY CRAP!!!

    Wow.

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  21. Holy crap, B! It worked!!!!!! Can you believe it?! Probably not but holy shit--YOU'RE PREGNANT! On an IUI to boot! ;) High freaking five!

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  22. Okay, Bunny, I'm going to type this and say it out loud for good measure: this means you are PREGNANT. And as for waiting 24 hours to golden shower another stick, forget it -- get thyself to the drug store (if your closet isn't full of sticks already), stock up, and start peeing on them morning and night! You know you want to! You know WE want you to!

    It worked! It worked! IT WORKED! Now you have to take it day by day until it's time for an ultrasound. *sigh*

    YOU DID IT! YOU AND MR. BUNNY DID IT! (and by "it" I mean made a bebeh with IUI!)

    Deep breath. *sigh again*

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  23. I just wanted to comment again and say YOU'RE PREEEEEGNANT!

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  24. Congrats! That faint line means it worked!!!!

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  25. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is defintely positive way to go!

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  26. Delurking to say Congratulations! A line is a line and I am so excited for you.

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  27. Yup. that's a line. No amount of cynicism can deny it.

    Now, we want more test to confirm it! When's your beta?

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  28. HOT DAMN, MISS BUNNY!!!!!! That is a hell of a line for 12dpiui. That is a real, honest to goodness, LINE of a line. I am doing my happy dance for you over here and hoping that this is it, that all your magic garden needed was a little more fertile soil for things to grow (and that your surgery remedied this).

    Babes, this is wonderful news. I know it's not definitive, that things can change, that there's no telling about the future. But, right here, right now? You're pregnant:)

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  29. MORE PEE STICKS! MORE PEE STICKS! MORE PEE STICKS!

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  30. HOLY CRAP, GIRL! That's a positive damn stick, right there!

    I cannot NOT be excited about that!

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  31. Yeahhhhhh!!!! Bunny, that is a fabulously beautiful line for 12dpo! You are SO pregnant! And NO ONE is happier about this than I am! Oh, I cannot wait to hear more details. I think you should for sure get a beta today (you are going to, right? You've called your RE already, right?) And then post again as soon as you get the number.

    Oh, I think this is it!

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  32. Your eyes do not deceive you. That is most definitely a line. And a line is a line is a line. Yeah!

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  33. (I'm trying this for the 3rd time since the computer doesn't want me to comment) YAY BUNNY!!!!!! This line is a whole lot darker than the line I saw on the day after my beta (which was >200), so it seems to be a pretty legit line!! Congrats Bunny!!! YAY!!!!!

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  34. Oh Bunny!!!! I just knew it!

    There is a definite line there, I can see it, even on my laptop screen.

    A quick scan tells me that you have taken another one - YAY!!! Tell Mr Bunny, STAT! You are up the duff as we Australians like to say!!!

    Okay, I am not making much sense because I am so completely overexcited for you!!! I live in the future and so I foresee excellent betas and lots of baby bunnies in that garden very soon.

    Sending you the very best of thoughts. :)

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  35. Holy crap! Yoohoo! This is awesome news! I am so happy. Lines beautiful Lines! I am smiling ear to ear. :)

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  36. Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY BUNNY!!! That is definitely a line!

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  37. OOOOH now THAT is a line. A real one.

    My fingers are crossed. Stay, line! Stay!

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  38. Hi. Hai. Hi. Can't type. Too excited. Need to lay down.

    Holy fucking shit, Bunny. It's on!

    As a pee stick vet, that would be a solid line for 14dpo. You've got a good beta, Missy. Damn. Woo hoo. I am boogying booty for you. Awesome news.

    PS. I leave the interwebs for half a day and nearly miss out? Fantastic Tuesday news! Made my day.

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  39. OMG! When I saw this on LFCA just now, I had to pop in immediately and say Congratulations!!

    Here's hoping this is a sticky BFP for you!

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  40. You did it! Woo-hoo! You're gonna have a baybee!

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  41. DEEP BREATH ... I am keeping xx'd fingers for you!!

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  42. Holy shit Bunny!! I have been away and am having a heart attack reading your post. YES ITS A LINE. Holy shit, I am all the way over the other side of the world in New Zealand and I can see that line from here!!!
    I know it feels tentative, thats natural. You've had all the positive thoughts beaten out of you long ago. But if that line gets darker tomorrow then you better break out your happy dance!
    SO happy for you.

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  43. Amazing! There's a Baby Bunny in there! Settle in and big good and grow strong, okay Baby Bunny?

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  44. OHMYGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!

    Fingers crossed - get thee in for a beta, yes??

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  45. Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
    1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection
    2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
    3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection),urine tract infection.
    4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube
    5. Cyst from the ovaries
    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
    7. Irregular menstruation
    8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)
    9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
    10. Infertility for easy Conception.......
    11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
    Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..

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