I've mentioned before that Mr. Bunny is an optimist. What with my considerably more cautious attitude, this is making for some interesting attempts to talk about ye olde embryo. I mean, mainly we're both too scared to mention anything beyond the ultrasound, and you can only have so many conversations that go, I hope our baby doesn't die! I also hope that! But when we do discuss the topic, he keeps saying things that make me want to reply with a depressing piece of information. (E.g., Him: That third beta is so great! In My Head: Yes, but plenty of people have rising betas and then miscarry.) Thus far, I've been biting my tongue. I figure if he can be happy, why get in his way? But I do worry that he won't be prepared if things go south. And, selfishly, that he won't be ready to support ME. Or maybe that he'll be all we got pregnant once, we can do it again! while I'm being all I can't fathom living. A good solution would be for me to not miscarry, huh?
I'm partly sorry my clinic doesn't scan for a gestational sac--it would be cool to have a little more information sooner rather than later. On the other hand, I'm grateful that, God willing, I'll get to go to this conference and take my Big Career Step in a state of ignorance. Because trying to put on a brave show of professionalism while utterly devastated...well, many of you know all too well how undesirable that is.
Speaking of which, I leave on Tuesday. The google embargo is still in place, so I can't research the dangers of flying early in pregnancy. Can you guys reassure me that it will be fine? I asked Nurse Idiot and she said it wasn't an issue, but with a particular note of uncertainty in her voice that I have learned means, I don't know what I'm talking about.