Saturday, September 4, 2010

Two weeks down, thirteen to go

Of my SEMESTER. You probably thought I was talking about babies. As if. I have a rich and fascinating life that does not revolve around babies.

That was a joke, in case my deadpan humor did not translate. Anyway, I'm starting to get into the rhythm of my semester. Both my classes seem to have a reasonable dynamic, and although I'm still very nervous about standing up there in my large class, I thought the worst was over. But last night I had another classic anxiety dream in which I couldn't get some piece of classroom technology to work, and was getting increasingly freaked out. And then I had an orgasm in my sleep. Because it turns out I have a fetish for being terrified in front of a lecture hall full of undergraduates. So of course it woke me up, and I was like AAAHHH! There's something IN that uterus! It shouldn't be contracting! AAAH! What have I done! But it wasn't my fault! I didn't mean to! I've made a pact with myself not to google /pubmed anything baby related. I know there's a world of fear out there, and I've got enough of my own without going looking. But if anyone happens to know of studies indicating that sleep orgasms in week four have no detrimental effects on an embryo, feel free to hook me up.*

This is going to be a bit of a mélange of a post.

Ever since That Fateful Tuesday, I've been waking up around 3am. It's like I was instantly conditioned to think that waking up at 3 results in wonderful things. So my brain is like WHAT WILL TODAY BRING! A PONY? But all it brings is a trip to the bathroom and a day of exhaustion, because of course I can't fall asleep again for an hour, and then I wake up at six. And today I officially switched to decaf. I know there's caffeine in decaf coffee. In fact, I'm counting on that small amount to stave off a withdrawal headache. I'll keep you posted on this exciting detail.

Finally, I meant to mention in the list of things I've learned since Tuesday that I am finally convinced a girl can be pregnant without feeling anything different from any other cycle. I had pretty much come to believe it after repeatedly reading posts where a woman was like I'm definitely getting my period tomorrow and then, the next day, OMG I'm pregnant! But I tell you, everything was exactly the same as always, down to the very specific cramps I get right before I'm due. So I'm now a True Believer in the doctrine of If You Feel Exactly Like Always, That Don't Mean Shit. (Though this obviously only applies to people who have not been pregnant before.)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to several days of being able to assume I have an embryo in my uterus, barring evidence to the contrary (e.g., geysers of blood), and of fun stuff like walking to the store to buy toilet paper.

*HA! I happen to know that there are no such studies, due to exhaustive research on everything related to implantation.


  1. Increased progesterone from behbeh = sleep O. Normal, not a problem, had 'em, everyone lived to tell. I only have this anecdotal evidence, but I present it to you anyway.

    You're allowed 1 cup of caffeinated whatnot per day, according to my OB. Decaf is no problem. I avoided caffeine until the second trimester (because I am a paranoid idiot) but then remembered how effectively it treats constipation, which was a bigger concern, and now I have a cup o-something a few times each week. No troubles.

    And even with IVF #3 (The One That Worked), nothing felt any different than the previous failed cycles. I have contended from the beginning of trying to conceive, especially since the IF diagnosis, that my body is a lying bitch that plays tricks on me. Or maybe it's my brain. Or maybe they're in cahoots.

  2. I'm one week down in my semester. The Google embargo seems like a good idea for now. Here's hoping time flies for the next few weeks!

  3. Glad things are going well with your semester and your pregnancy. I have never had that many imaginary symptoms before so we shall see how it goes when I get there.

  4. Yeahhhhhhh, been there too, re: sleep O and fear of intercourse. And I totally freaked about the contraction thing! My nurse said it's TOTALLY fine. (Yeah, I asked her. About the intercourse!) I do get very crampy (still) after we do the deed and that is scary but apparently b/c my uterus is growing/bigger.

    I have a couple mugs of decaf every morning. I've read that pregnant women need to drink less than 200mg of caffeine a day, which is actually A LOT if you're not drinking coffee (which is like 100mg). Decaf has, like, 5mg per 4 oz. So I do drink a lot of that stuff, b/c I'm a sucker for a steaming mug of coffee-smelling stuff, I know it's not waking me up.

    Finally, YES, on the waking up thing. For weeks I've been getting up between 4 and 530am with a galloping heart. I think it's excitement. And nervous energy. *Just* in the past few nights, I have been able to sleep past 630am again, and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

    Loves to you sweet Bunny!!!!! xo

  5. I heard that orgasms are good for growing babies - increasing blood flow to the uterus and "massaging" the little one. So no need to google "spontaneous dream-induced orgasms during pregnancy".

  6. I think I recall you being super orgasmic? Holy cow, Bunny, buckle up. You haven't seen anything yet.

    Ain't no 'gasm like the P-G 'gasm 'cause the P-G 'gasm don't stop.

    I heard the same as finch. Baby enjoys the same rush of hormones. Thank jaw, because if by some cruel joke of fate you had to avoid orgasm at the time in your life when it is at it's peak - well, that would be too much.

  7. oh poor darling, you're freaking yourself out! I think the O was just your body's way of saying 'ok, we're taking the bull by the horns. She needs to chill. We'll do it while she sleeps'.

    Enjoy your decaf coffee, your walk to the store to buy toilet paper, and missing your honey. He'll be back so soon to rub your belly.

  8. sleep-o? ha.

    i have it on, erm, Good Anecdotal Authority that a much larger number of o's than just one is just fine for everybody. more than fine, as it happens.

    i've said too much!

  9. hahahaha, it's happened to all of us. i had a sleep-O during 1st ivf and i was beyond mortified and if i recall correctly, i didn't tell hubby bc i was so ashamed. you didn't do anything to those little bunnies (i'm just gonna go with the plural here until i'm proven wrong) in your ute, except maybe make them giggle about their horny momma :o)

    saw the title of your post and was going to correct you on your math. i thought pregnancy brain got to ya, but i was wrong!! i hope you're having a good weekend even though mr bunny is out of town :o)

  10. Oh I am right there with you on the semester thing. Only our school year is different, so I can say seven weeks down, eight to go (including exams). YEAH!!!!

    As for the caffeine, like someone above said, it's perfectly fine as long as you kkep it to under 200mg a day, which is supposed to include chocolate, tea etc. It really annoys me this whole 'give up caffeine because one cup a day will make you die' rubbish.

    As for the no symptoms, I can swear that it is true. I absoulutely fell off my chair when i saw this last positive as I had NO symptoms whatsoever, and in previous cycles I did. I was convinced my period was coming. It just goes to show you never can tell.

    I like this new trying-not-to-worry attitude. Celebrate and enjoy this wonderful experience, Bunny. :)

  11. oh, and since coca-cola is the best nausea cure i've found, i have certainly not given up caffeine. (coffee and tea both make me feel really queasy, so i have room in the caffeine budget for the coke. let us not discuss the corn syrup budget.)

    in MY glamorous life as a highly respected adjunct professor of freshman comp: on thursday, i had a student arrive to our hot, wasp-infested classroom without a shirt.

    i'm not sure what you teach, but body hair patterns fall squarely into the category of Things I Do Not Need To Know About My Students.

  12. Now I'm a little bummed that I never got me a sleep-O with my Prometrium; that sounds delish! And I hear you on the early wakeup; while I was pregnant, I was up at the ass-crack eeeevery morning. My head just couldn't chill out for a full night's sleep. Oh, and hi from Medina, OH!

  13. I'm glad that your semester has started well - I still have those dreams, but minus the orgasms (which leaves me feeling a bit cheated, to be honest:)

    The first few weeks are a long trek. But things have started really well, Bunny. And I think banning Google from your abode is a VERY sane decision.

  14. Good on ya, bunny, juggling enlightening the masses, nocturnal orgasms and toilet paper purchasing, all while carrying an embryo around! It's so nice to hear how excited you are.

    One day at a time, and all is well unless proved otherwise, is the way to go.