This is the kind of post that used to make me bawl with sorrow and desperation, just a few months ago. I'd read it because I cared about the person, but I'd know I'd better close my office door and get out the tissues. I'd sob and sob, and then I'd recover. Now it's my turn to break your little hearts! Sweeeeet! No, for serious, you don't have to read this. I'll never know.
This morning was my NT scan, or ultrascreen, as the kids say. That shit was pretty mind blowing. First, we got to go to the classy ultrasound room, the one with a big screen and a vastly less clinical feeling. Second, the tech told me to sit down on the table. I was like, with my CLOTHES ON? I mean, dude, I didn't even have to take my SHOES off! It felt a lot like walking into the living room of someone who selected all white carpeting. Then I had an ultrasound FROM THE OUTSIDE. Like in the movies. And then I got to see my fetus. There's one little picture on Bun Bun's page, but I wish I could keep the memory of the experience crystal clear. All these little bits of amazing anatomy flashing by... Spine! Hands! Feet! Cerebellum! Heart! Little beating heart! I have to say the part that really got me was an axial view of Bun Bun's brain. TWO hemispheres, people. And plenty of room for the frontal lobes to expand. I really wish I'd gotten a keepsake picture of that, but I'll just have to treasure the memory. Anyway, all extremities present, heart beating away at a great rate, measurements perfect. I won't know for a week or more what the test results are, but my plan is to not worry. And we all know plans work flawlessly.
But on to part two. The Viking Rune Candle Family is in town this week and came over for dinner last night. I got to meet Viking Rune Candle Lady Baby. (I know, he'll get no end of shit at school for THAT name.) Because I have so few friends with babies (one), it was awfully nice to just fucking talk about babies with someone with whom I have ZERO baggage. She also told me that her life has pretty much transformed from sad to happy. How she used to just drag herself through the days, and now every day is a fucking treasure. Yeah, I puked a little, too, but if anyone is in a place where she'd be able to draw comfort from an RPL success story, there you have it.